Question
I need sober advice, and I will be following keenly.
I am a single mother of two children. One is in Grade 9, and the other has just joined Grade 1. I am separated from their father, but he is financially involved and willing to support me.
I have been jobless for the past three years, but I have recently secured a job in a new company that has just started operations, earning KES 35,000 per month. My ex-husband is willing to support me to move abroad, on the condition that I move together with the children.
I am 35 years old, turning 36 this year. I am open to moving to Canada or any Schengen country. However, there are so many con people out there that I am unsure where to start.
Where do I begin?
Answer
This is a very honest situation, and you are right to slow down and ask before making any moves. Let me be equally honest and practical with you.
First, moving abroad with two school-going children is a major financial and legal decision, not just a visa decision. One of the biggest mistakes people make is starting with the destination instead of starting with feasibility.
1. Your Current Situation – A Reality Check
- An income of KES 35,000 is not sufficient to support an overseas move at this stage
- A three-year employment gap will raise questions during visa applications
- Moving with children significantly increases costs, documentation, and scrutiny
- Your age is not the problem. The real issues are finances, stability, and documentation
This does not mean your situation is impossible. It simply means you need careful planning, not rushed decisions.
2. Canada and Schengen Countries – The Hard Truth
Canada:
Relocating with children usually requires:
- Strong proof of funds
- A stable income history
- A clear legal pathway (study or skilled work)
There are no shortcuts, and it is not cheap.
Schengen countries:
These countries do not offer easy permanent relocation options for families unless it is through:
- Employer sponsorship, or
- Study pathways backed by significant funds
Anyone promising “guaranteed visas,” “connections,” or “fast processing” is not being truthful.
3. Where You Should Actually Start
Not with agents. Not with Facebook groups.
Start with:
- Official government websites only (e.g. Canada IRCC, specific embassy websites)
- Choose one realistic pathway:
- Study (only if you can genuinely afford it), or
- Skilled work (if your profession is in demand)
- Build 6–12 months of financial and employment stability
- Properly document:
- Children’s custody
- Travel consent from the father
- School records
This preparation phase alone can take a year or more, and that is completely normal.
4. About “Con People”
A simple rule:
- If someone asks for large money upfront
- Promises guaranteed success
- Discourages you from reading official government sites
➡️ Walk away.
Legitimate immigration processes are:
- Transparent
- Slow
- Paperwork-heavy
- Never guaranteed
5. A Gentle but Important Suggestion
Given your current circumstances, it may be wiser to:
- First stabilize your income locally
- Consider short courses or certifications that improve employability
- Explore gradual or regional options before a full overseas move
Moving abroad under pressure often creates more stress than relief, especially with children involved.
Bottom Line
You are not late.
You are not failing.
Right now, the most powerful move is preparation, not relocation. Build a solid foundation, ignore shortcuts, and move only when the finances and documents truly support it — especially with children involved.
