When loving your children does not feel the way you were told it should.
Client’s summary to a lawyer
I am a father of young children, and I am struggling with feelings that I am worried could be misunderstood or judged harshly. I love my children and take my responsibilities seriously, but I do not enjoy spending long periods playing or entertaining them. I do what is expected of me and behave kindly and patiently, but internally I feel frustrated and would rather be working or spending time alone.
This has been going on for several years, and it causes me guilt and anxiety because it does not match what I hear from other parents or what seems to be expected today. I am concerned about whether these feelings could ever be interpreted as neglect, emotional unfitness, or a legal risk if they were known. I am not seeking to avoid my duties, but I want to understand whether there is anything legally wrong with how I feel, and whether I should be taking steps to protect myself or address this situation formally.
Lawyer’s perspective
The father is not absent. He is not careless. He shows up every day, provides, protects, and treats his children with patience and kindness. From the outside, he looks like a responsible and devoted father. Inside, however, he carries a growing sense of unease that he rarely dares to voice.
What troubles him is not a lack of love, but a lack of enjoyment. Time spent playing, entertaining, or being constantly available feels draining rather than fulfilling. He does it because it matters, because it is expected, and because his children deserve it. Yet afterwards, he is left with guilt, confusion, and the fear that something is fundamentally wrong with him.
He hears other parents speak about joy, magic, and unforgettable moments. His own experience feels quieter and heavier. He worries that these feelings, if misunderstood, could be judged harshly. He wonders whether modern expectations have shifted so far that honest emotions now seem unacceptable, or even dangerous to admit. Most of all, he wants clarity. Not reassurance alone, but an understanding of where he truly stands.
This is where many thoughtful, responsible parents find themselves. They are not looking to escape their duties. They are looking for a safe, professional space to speak openly, without shame or exaggeration, and to understand the real boundaries between emotion, responsibility, and risk.
If you recognise yourself in this story, and if you carry concerns you hesitate to voice elsewhere, we invite you to get in touch. As your lawyers, our role is to listen carefully, assess your situation clearly, and advise you with discretion and balance. Early, confidential advice can bring relief, perspective, and confidence in how you move forward.
You do not have to navigate these questions alone. Reach out to discuss your concerns and understand your position properly.
